I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
