Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
