They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
