Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
