My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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