We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
