Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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