we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
and you fell through a lawn chair
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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