I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
