She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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