so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
