TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
a search helicopter?!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
