its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
