i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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