I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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