we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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