It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
