drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
