Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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