Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
