ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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