I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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