I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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