champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it's like heaven, but drunker
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize