Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
