I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There r osticjed everywhere
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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