Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
