Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
