I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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