Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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