Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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