went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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