so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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