He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
