No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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