gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so let's talk penis.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
