Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize