anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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