You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
