Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I supernannyed him into submission
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