Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
