Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
No subtext here. People are naked.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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