Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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