Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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