when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
