when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize