Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you win again, gameday.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
