my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
