i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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