I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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