Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
