I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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