dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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