She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
