Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
