I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
