So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
