Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
