No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I want to have your abortion
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
worst night to have a conscience
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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