if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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