I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
