my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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