Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
