Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
