I never want to see another naked old woman again.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You pole danced in your parka.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
