i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
